Consider this to be "OSNA but more serious and action-y over the usual offbeat humor". Inspired by the Wars of Nintendo (to some extent).
A select group of Nintendo addicts have been recruited from planet Earth to save the Nintendo universe, and indeed their own universe, from a mysterious force that can't be fully explained. At BattleStation Alpha, these addicts will train to become an elite fighting force, guided by famous Nintendo heroes. But as they are just starting to bond, they're sent on missions deep within places like Mushroom Kingdom, Hyrule, and Tallon IV. Can a group of stereotypically nerdy Nintendo addicts succeed against something that is bent on destroying everything? We'll see.
What started as a portal to our world has now become a floating space fortress. Nobody would ever find out how that portal opened. Some say it has to do with the subtle impact that thought processes have on our universe. Others say that a powerful being willed it open. But most people would rather say nothing about the subject. Whatever it may be, one thing is for certain: they entered through it. Who's they, you ask? Several Nintendo characters. Yeah, you heard me. Anyway, since only Samus and Mario (for inexplicable reasons) could actually manage to survive in space (the others managed to make it back through the Portal mostly unscathed, though... don't ask), they were in charge of making the portal's point of entry habitable. So, with the help of some (an army) Galactic Federation engineers, BattleStation Alpha became a reality. These may leave you with a few questions as to why the Nintendo characters wanted to leave their worlds in the first place. Let me elaborate on this subject. Forget everything Nintendo games have told you. Peach's cake is a lie. Every time Nintendo concocts a game, these characters must act it out in their own universes. And they know that they're forced to do this. Poor Mario, having to save the princess then find a cure for the common cold then go golfing then forced to eat tons of disgusting mushrooms that painfully make him grow double his size... yeah. It was terrible. Then something happened. A cataclysm struck every Nintendo universe. Earthquakes, black holes, random nuclear explosions, and malicious stuff like that. But when it stopped, the Nintendo characters weren't bound to Nintendo's wishes anymore. They were free... at a great cost. The villains decided to team up and take advantage of this situation. Unfortunately for them, the whole "build a giant evil tower smack dab in the middle of the Mushroom Kingdom" idea wasn't discreet enough to keep the good guys (and gals) from noticing. Officially declaring themselves join rulers of all Nintendo existence, the villains' spread their dark influence over all. Now, they're even looking towards other worlds for conquest. But where were the heroes when this happened? Already planning their own counter offensive: the creation of BattleStation Alpha. Knowing that their combined efforts couldn't stop the villains, they decided to recruit new heroes. And where better to start than recruit from their own fanbase? Convoluted enough for you yet? Good.
Next time on BatStat Alpha:
The ship was cloaked long before it hit Earth's atmosphere. Not a single radar could have possibly noticed it. It landed somewhere in the American West. Far enough from civilization to be noticed. Out of the ship came Samus Aran wearing her Zero Suit. It was the closest thing in her wardrobe that remotely resembled contemporary American fashion. Either way, she was on a recruiting mission. Time to go.
DISCLAIMER: Names and ages in this story are generally made up.
Chapter 1: Recruiting
It takes talent to recruit, which is why most of the members of BatStat's recruitment team are from the Fire Emblem games. You know, those strategy RPGs where you have to recruit new fighters every stinking chapter? Anyway, since all of them are in over their heads when they use a computer, Samus is the head of the department. Her quite literal technical prowess makes her a key player in running the station. While she searches for possible candidates among various Nintendo blogs and forums, all of those fantasy characters with wacky hairstyles enjoy some ping pong and cold beverages. But Samus couldn't really complain. She's more of a task-oriented type in the first place. When she does actually finds something worth noting, she reports it. Unfortunately, so far... they haven't approved of anything. This time, it was different. She went through a list of ProBoards forums and nothing really caught her eye. So she double-checked. Nah, she already checked Brawl Domain. A lot of promising candidates, but concerning the newer or not very active members, she didn't have enough to judge them. They could be the real gems here... but the internet didn't tell her much. What she really needed was leadership. She needed to find a true leader. She found what she was looking for when she clicked on an affiliate banner marked "Nintendo Addict".
Ike was reclining when Samus entered the room. "Chad Winslow, age 18." she said, tossing a folder at Ike's waist. Ike picked it up and looked through it. His eyebrows raised. "Again, promising. But I don't think he could've lead the forum without some of the support he's got." Ike replied. "Which is why I have a few more candidates. Andrew Tanner, age 17. Fred Knox, age 16. George Chief, age 16. Rachel Fantana, age 17. Lenny Hyde, age 16. Pico Wilds, age 17. Elmer Mussel, age 16. And finally, Zach Stripes, age 17." "I don't want to know how the heck they're all about the same age." replied Ike, looking through the files. "At least they're the age we would like to recruit from." replied Samus. "Sure... wait a second! You mean to tell me that we should recruit almost every active member of Nintendo Addict?" "Absolutely. They already make a perfect team." "Hmm... I'll have to talk this over with the others." Samus smirked under her helmet and left the room. She was sure that all of the candidates will pass the requirements.
The ship was cloaked long before it hit Earth's atmosphere. Not a single radar could have possibly noticed it. It landed somewhere in the deserts of the American West (supposedly near Roswell, New Mexico). Far enough from civilization to be unnoticed. Out of the ship came Samus Aran wearing her Zero Suit. It was the closest thing in her wardrobe that remotely resembled contemporary American fashion. Either way, she was on a recruiting mission. Time to go.
Next time on BatStat Alpha:
"You got to be kidding me." Chad said. "I'm not kidding... Chadwick."
At first glance of the name, it sounded meh. But its actually pretty good.
That's normal for any good sci-fi series. Oh, and I made a few grammar/spelling changes to the first chapter.
Previously on BatStat Alpha:
She needed to find a true leader. She found what she was looking for when she clicked on an affiliate banner marked "Nintendo Addict". *** "Sure... wait a second! You mean to tell me that we should recruit almost every active member of Nintendo Addict?"
Chapter 2: Leadership
Chad Winslow was enjoying his summer. Sure, he was a little busier than he would've liked, but at least there's no school. Yeah, school. If there's any place to meet Nintendo haters (and a few junkies) in real life, it's a large school. Or maybe a large GameStop at a mall. Either way, school is torture. Sure, Chad gets respectable grades, but... it's school. It never makes you feel as important as you really are. Well, chances are he wouldn't expect a transfer to another school anytime soon. His parents just love California. The sun, the beach, the oddball people who life in San Francisco (no offense)... and the earthquakes. Yeah, California is surly the perfect place to live. So he was returning home from the library and kicking pop cans out of his way. Once he reached his destination, it wasn't long before he noticed some changes. "Hello?" he said, looking around in the strangely empty-looking house. "Chad!" cried his little sister, Elyse. "What's going on?" asked Chad. "There's a lady upstairs wanting to see you." Chad immediately bounded upstairs to his room. There he found his parents, talking to some skinny blond lady with glasses. Samus wasn't wearing her Zero Suit. She bought herself a more suitable outfit along the way, complete with reading glasses. She was trying to nail the whole "blond female high school teacher" look, and she succeeded greatly. "Hello, son." said his father, looking over some papers. "This women here is from the Lake Tahoe Scholars Camp. She was just telling us that she would like you to come for an all expenses paid two weeks of learning." said his mother. Chad just stood blankly at them. "Can I speak with Chad alone for a moment?" Samus asked. "Sure." said his father. Chad's parents left the room. Chad sat down on his bed. "Chad, I'm Samantha Ayers." Samus said, gesturing for a handshake. Chad reluctantly shook her hand. Samus lowered her voice to a whisper, "You're parents are outside of the door, trying to listen in. So, I'll tell you the truth. I'm running a camp for Nintendo addicts. One of many throughout the nation. And I want you to be there... for free." Chad was taken aback. "For free?" "Shh! Yes, for free. And you can expect a rather large Nintendo-related announcement at the end of the camp. Really large. Megaton large." "...really..." "Yes. So, just keep up this scholars camp charade with me if you want to go." "I definitely do." So the false papers were signed and Chad hopped into Samantha's car. He relaxed, then played some DS, then realized: "Um, this isn't the way to Lake Tahoe." Then he was knocked out for a long time.
Chad woke up. "Ugh... where am I?" His rubbed his eyes. He didn't believe what he was seeing. The car was parked on the side of the road. More importantly, the side of a road in the middle of a desert. Samantha was now Samus again. Back in her Zero Suit. "Sorry, but I had to use my Emergency Pistol on you when you started to realize what was going on." she said dryly. "Wait... you kidnapped me? And you're actually a Zero Suit Samus cosplayer?" "Yes and no. I kidnapped you, but I'm the real Zero Suit Samus." "You got to be kidding me." Chad said, trying to get the door open. It was locked. "I'm not kidding, Chadwick." Chad was taken aback. "How did you..." "Chad, listen to me. There's a lot to explain, but it's would be easier if we get to our destination first." "You're crazy." "Chad. Do you want to go through this consciously, or unconsciously?" Chad stayed silent. "Good." Samus said. She got out of the car, and pressed a button on her suit. Her ship appeared out of thin air. Chad's jaw dropped. "Coming?" asked Samus. Chad slowly nodded his head, got out of the car, and followed her into the ship.
Next time on BatStat Alpha:
"Chad, you're going to be the leader." "Seriously?" "Seriously. I think once our team is put together, you'll see why."